


Love Letters to My Best Friend

by Bunny_Chan_San



Category: Free!
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 10:52:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15169118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunny_Chan_San/pseuds/Bunny_Chan_San
Summary: Its been 5 years since Makoto confessed to Haruka that night in the ISC pool back in middle school, and still nothing has changed between the two friends. Makoto builds the courage to confess once more, this time through a series of letters.





	Love Letters to My Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KatsukisKatsudon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatsukisKatsudon/gifts).



> *Pops fireworks* Happy Fourth of July and Happy Makoharu Gift Exchange 2018 to Katsukis-Katsudon! Thank you for being patient with me since I was unable to get this up yesterday at the deadline. You said you were okay with pretty much anything, so I hope this lives up to your expectations. :) I am still working on the follow-up piece to this (I hope to have it up next week), so again, my apologies on the tardiness. I hope you will wait for the conclusion!! I promise to bring more fluff! 
> 
> Thank you to GodmotherToClarion for the beta read; YOU ROCK!

Makoto Tachibana is 12 years old when he confesses to his best friend, Haruka Nanase. They’re at the swim club, which is now closed for the day – the quiet emptiness which normally would scare Makoto only propels him further.

They’re in their regular clothes, too hurried to even stop inside their houses to grab their jammers. Completely taken by surprise, Haruka doesn’t hesitate. The two boys jump into the pool, hand in hand. Something this out of the ordinary would surely be a plan of Haruka’s making – this time, however, Haru is following Makoto’s lead. They submerge themselves and undulate serenely in the chlorinated water, despite their wet jackets weighing them down. After a couple of minutes of reveling in the intimacy of the moment, Makoto pulls Haruka so that they lie contently on their backs. Makoto has finally decided to tell Haru what has been bothering him lately. He wasn’t trying to ignore Haru, but he had to distance himself to find the answer to the question Nao had posed to him. Did he really like swimming? Or was he only swimming because Haruka was?

Makoto stands up and Haruka mimics him. Water drips from his hair as he smiles brightly and lets loose all of his pent-up emotions. “I love swimming and I love you, Haru-chan, so I want to swim together with you!”

Haruka’s eyes shine with understanding, as a tender look softens his now blushing face. He looks away, embarrassed, and says, “I told you to stop using –chan.”

“Right. Sorry,” Makoto smiles at the familiarity of his response.

“Also… of course we’d swim together,” Haruka adds, his cheeks becoming rosier by the second.

Makoto’s aura illuminates the darkened room, as if the sun has decided to shine at 9 in the afternoon.

 

********* 

 

 It’s been 5 years since that day, and Makoto sometimes wonders if it was all a dream.

He lays the side of his head on his desk, tapping the butt of his pencil against the wood to a nonsensical beat. He stares at the paper in front of his face, rereading his letter. It reflects everything that happened earlier that day, all through Makoto’s eyes. Happiness fills him when reminisces about sharing the blue soda popsicle with Haruka after their swim practice. This scenario is common, however, it never stops Makoto from feeling butterflies in his stomach whenever he watches Haru enjoy the sweet treat. He straightens his back and smiles stupidly into his hands. Once the heat from his cheeks dissipates, he folds the letter carefully, and places it inside a white envelope. He dates the front, and opens the drawer of his desk and places the envelope carefully on top of the pile of others. Red, black, white, green, and blue envelopes, all sizes, all shapes, sit at the bottom, all filled with Makoto’s thoughts, feelings, and love for his best friend, Haruka Nanase.

He can’t bring himself to show them to him – not now. The time isn’t right.

But if not now, when?

Makoto closes the drawer and sighs. He averts his gaze to his window, which coincidentally, has a clear view of Haruka’s own bedroom window. Although he can’t see much inside, he can see the baby blue curtains that are left wide open.  He wonders idly if Haru is having a late dinner downstairs with the neighborhood cat that frequents, or if he’s already asleep. The light is out, and Haru’s house looks forlorn.

He stands to close his own curtains but as he is about to pull them shut, Haruka’s bedroom light flickers to life. Makoto holds his breath – it’s as if his thoughts of Haruka somehow magicked him into being . The dark haired boy appears at the window and they lock eyes. Makoto smiles and waves; Haruka lifts a hand in his own greeting. Makoto turns back to his desk and reaches for his phone. He dials Haruka’s number and heads back to the window. Haruka disappears, most likely to search for his own cell phone. The phone continues to ring, and it goes to voicemail. Makoto hits redial, hoping the ringer will help Haru in his search. He tries again a third time and fourth but again, it goes to voicemail. He continues to gaze up at the window, neglecting to redial for the fifth time.  A knock on his bedroom door startles him so bad that he yelps and drops his phone .

“Ah, Makoto.” Haruka opens the door to the bedroom, and eyes the green cell on the floor. “Sorry.”

Makoto’s hammering heart threatens to jump out of his chest. He clutches his shirt and runs his hand through his hair. “Haru! I didn’t expect… I was trying to call you!” He says breathlessly.

“I couldn’t find it. It must be on silent,” Haruka tilts his head at the stationary on his desk. “Were you finishing some homework?”

“Ah… s-something like that,” Makoto stutters, and rubs the back of his neck.

“…Was there something you wanted to talk about?” Haruka leans against the door jamb.

“Huh?” Makoto’s mind races from the letters to his current situation, and realizes that Haruka was trying to change the subject.

“You were trying to call me.”

“Oh! Well… It wasn’t anything important.” Makoto waves his hand, gesturing the matter away.

Haruka lifts an eyebrow but doesn’t comment. Instead, he walks in sits down on Makoto’s bed and blinks owlishly at him.

Makoto finally gets some sense into head and picks up his forgotten phone, placing it on his desk. He sits next to Haru but flops backwards so that he lays on his back, his arms outstretched, staring up at the ceiling.

Haruka leans back on his hands and looks up at the plastic stick-on stars Makoto had begged his dad to hang up when he was 8 years old. “You know, we could go outside and look at the real ones.”

Makoto fumbles to sit up and turns to face Haruka. “Really?” he whispers.

Haruka shrugs his shoulders, and stands up. He silently walks to the door, and looks back at Makoto as if saying, “Well? Hurry up.”

Makoto follows Haruka down the stairs. They pass the kitchen to find Makoto’s mother washing dishes .

“Hey mom, we’re heading out for a bit, just for a walk. We’ll be right back.”

“Oh, okay dear. It is late so be careful.”  She waves a soapy hand at them.

Haruka bows slightly in parting, and the boys continue their way outside, after securing their shoes on.

The smell of the ocean hits them as a faint breeze wafts by. Crickets chirp and the sound of the nearby trees rustle.

Haruka closes his eyes and inhales deeply. He opens his eyes again slowly, then faces his taller friend.

“Makoto.”

Makoto smiles at Haruka, with a questioning look.

Haruka grabs Makoto’s wrist and pulls him at full speed down the stairs.

“Uwah! Haru…. Slow down!” Makoto begins to trip on his own feet, but catches himself as they hit the bottom. Haruka doesn’t stop there though, as he rips past streets, taking the familiar path towards the beach. The entirety of the time, Makoto’s mind whirls with thoughts of that night back in middle school, where he guided Haruka to a secluded pool filled with heartfelt confessions.

They’re both panting when their feet hit the beachside sidewalk, and Haruka finally lets go of Makoto. Makoto is clutching the stitch in his side as he struggles to inhale.

“Ha…Haru… what… what was… the rush?” he questions breathlessly.

Haruka pants, and lets out a muffled sigh that could only be Haru’s version of laughter.

“I just… really wanted to be here.”

Makoto begins to chuckle, then laughs fully from his belly as he wipes his brow from sweat. “That’s just like you.”

Haruka’s eyes light up and the edges crinkle ever so slightly. They both kick off their shoes and leave them on the deserted sidewalk so they can walk barefoot in the sand.

They walk silently towards the water, until they are ankle deep. The waves gently wash over them, cold, but refreshing on this humid night. The only sounds they hear is the water lapping on the shore, bubbling gently at their feet.

Haruka looks up into the inky night sky. It’s a new moon tonight, so the stars are shining brightly without competition.

“Ahhh… this is so much better than staring at the plastic ones in my room,” Makoto sighs as he too stares above.

“I like the ones in your room,” Haruka supplies.

“But tonight… I think this is just what we needed.” Makoto tears his eyes away from the twinkling lights and observes Haruka’s hair, which is being tousled aesthetically in the wind.

“Ah,” Haruka agrees, finally catching Makoto’s gaze. They soundlessly regard each other until Haruka kicks his foot up playfully, creating a splash that fully douses Makoto.

Makoto splutters and whines, “Haruuuuu!”

Haruka grins mischievously and begins to run down the beach, leaving a trail of water droplets in his wake.

“Nanase Haruka! Get back here this instant!” Makoto yells, and begins to chase after him.

Haruka looks back while still running, “Oh no, you used my full name – You must really be angry, Mamakoto .”

“I thought I told you not to call me that!” Makoto complains at the nick-name Nagisa dubbed for him. He picks up his pace, becoming ever closer to catching his prey.

“And I thought I told you to never call me anything but Haru!” Haruka halts in his tracks and turns to face Makoto – his eyes widening as he realizes Makoto has too much momentum to stop in time. Makoto must realize this too, because his face contorts to one of genuine surprise and then fear.

Makoto’s body hits him full force, and they both go tumbling down into the sand, the water splashing fully over them.

This time, its Haruka that is spluttering. His hair is plastered to his face, covering his eyes. He sits up and whips his head back, his bangs making a wet slapping noise. Makoto rolls onto his back, the waves still crashing around him. After a moment he sit ups, shakes his head like a dog to rid himself of any excess water, successfully spraying Haru with droplets. The two boys gape at each other and take in their soggy appearances. They begin to crack up, Haruka laughing, albeit softly.

“This is gonna be great. I can’t wait to explain to my mom that instead of a nice walk, we took a dip in the ocean.” Makoto leans in and removes a piece of seaweed from Haruka’s shirt.

Haruka shrugs happily and leans back on his hands, letting the waves wash over his lower half.

“Don’t tell me you had this all planned,” Makoto eyes him suspiciously.

“I most certainly did not plan on you running into me and having us topple down into the water. That, was all you,” Haruka says plainly.

Makoto rolls his eyes, but smiles nonetheless. They sit there wordlessly for a few minutes, watching the heavens above slowly rotate as the world beneath them spins. A heavy breeze floats by that has both boys shivering, a good cue for them to make their way back home. Makoto pushes himself up to a standing position, water dripping from his sodden clothes as he looks down to his friend, extending a hand out.

Haruka searches his eyes meaningfully before reaching out to grasp said hand, helping himself upright. They stand there for a split second, Makoto wondering if this was the right time that he was waiting for. Before he can think on the matter any further, Haruka lets his hand go, and points upwards.

Makoto turns just in time to see a shooting star fly across the sky. He blinks twice and a grin spreads across his face. “How beautiful!” he exclaims.

“Make a wish,” Haruka says softly, his eyes sparkling with intensity.

Makoto closes his eyes and grounds himself in all reality.

He breathes deeply, inhaling the salty trade winds. He listens, and hears the gentle “shhhh” of the ocean ebbing and flowing. He feels the sand below him, but most importantly, he feels the presence of Haruka in front of him.

In that moment, he knows that he owes it to himself, and to Haruka, to express his feelings for him. But for now, he is content. What he wishes for more than anything, is that even if Haruka doesn’t return his feelings, that they can remain friends until the end of time.

He opens his eyes to a view that will be etched into his mind for eternity. Haruka smiling delicately, his hair being whipped around by the drafts, dripping wet, and slightly shivering.

Makoto chuckles. “C’mon, Haru. Let’s go home.”

They turn and make their way calmly, grabbing their shoes when they make it to the sidewalk. No words are needed on the return trip. A comfortable silence falls between the two friends.

They climb the stairs to their homes and stop at Makoto’s door. Somehow, the scene reminds him of one of those romance movies his mom likes to watch. After a first date, the couple stands on the doorstep of the female’s house and they exchange pleasantries… “I had a wonderful night” “Me too… would you like to come in?” or perhaps a first kiss and then off to bed?

Makoto suddenly becomes very self-conscious. He worries his lower lip between his teeth.

“I-uh…” Makoto rubs the back of his neck in a nervous fashion, his eyes averted to his feet, swallowing hard.

“Makoto.”

Makoto snaps his head up. “Y-yes?”

Haruka gives him a genuine smile. “I had a great time. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turns and leaves up the stairs without a backwards glance.

Makoto stares after Haruka, watching him close the door behind him when he reaches his own house.

Makoto leans his back on the door and bangs his head in frustration. How can Haru be so cute?

Just then, door opens, and Makoto is once again losing his balance, this time, backwards. He squeaks and almost collapses when he feels petite hands steady him.

“Makoto! What happened? You’re soaked! You scared me, I heard a bang on the door!”

“Mom!” Makoto turns to face her. “Um… Haruka thought it was a good idea to walk along the beach, and one thing led to another… eheh heh…” He looks everywhere but in her eyes.

“Get inside. You’ll catch cold! Hurry up!” He waits in the entryway as she hurries to grab a bath towel. He removes his shoes and soon she is back.

“Here,” She wraps him in a fluffy yellow towel. “Now go straight upstairs and take a warm shower.”

“…Thanks, mom.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” she huffs, hands on her hips.

“Ahh, mom, it was an accident – we kinda just… fell in. I promise it wasn’t on purpose.”

“Be that as it may, you boys have no business being in the ocean so late at night, and without supervision! Especially after what happened last year Makoto, don’t think I have forgotten about your swim club training weekend.” She stares him down and he falters, despite her being a foot shorter than him.

Makoto’s heart sinks as he concurs with his mother.  “…You’re right. And I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

 “You're damn right it won’t happen again.” She folds her arms disapprovingly.

“Mom!” Makoto gasps as his mother’s curse.

“What?”

“You just… you uh… never mind.” Makoto shakes his head in astonishment. He takes his first step up the stairs, when he feels a hand on his arm. He looks back and sees his mother’s small smile.

“Makoto… I’m glad you’re home safe.”

Makoto fully rotates and hugs his mother. “Me too.”

“Eugh… Makoto… you’re getting me all wet,” she struggles, trying to break free.

Makoto chuckles. “Sorry, sorry!” He releases her and heads upstairs.

He heads to his room first to grab his pajamas and notices his phone is blinking.

He opens his cell to find a text message.

_11:08 p.m. New Message from Haru-chan              “Hope she wasn’t too mad.”_

Makoto smiles and types back a response.

              _11:14 p.m. “I think she’s over it. Glad you were able to find your phone!”_

_11:15 p.m. New Message from Haru-chan            “I knew where it was.”_

_11:15 p.m. “…So you admit to planning all this?”_

_11:17 p.m. New Message from Haru-chan           “I didn’t say that.”_

_11:18 p.m. “Haruka.”_

_11:18 p.m. New Message from Haru-chan              “Mamakoto_   _.”_

Makoto pulls his hair in annoyance.

              _11:19 p.m. New Message from Haru-chan              “Good night Makoto.”_

Makoto pulls his hair again in defeat.

_11:19 p.m. “Good night, Haru.”_

_11:19 p.m. New Message from MOM                   “I DON’T HEAR THE SHOWER RUNNING, MAKOTO. IT BETTER BE RUNNING IN 2 SECONDS OR YOU WILL BE RUNNING FOR YOUR_   _LIFE.”_

Makoto drops his phone like a hot potato and runs to lock himself in the bathroom.

******

 

It's 11:45 p.m. and Makoto sits down at his desk again to look at the blank stationary in front of him. The room is dark, save for his desk light, as he pulls out his favorite pencil and begins to write.

 

_Haru,_

_I’ve never written two letters in the same day, but today will be the only exception._

_Tonight you surprised me in my bedroom, and dragged me down to the beach. You claim it wasn’t planned, but I knew you had something up your sleeve. We fell into the ocean and laughed at the ridiculousness of the ordeal. We were drenched and shivering, but the experience was something I don’t think I will ever forget. In the end, we witnessed a shooting star. You told me to make a wish._

_Did you wonder what it was?_

_In this box are letters I’ve written to you from over the course of the past five years. It’s a bit excessive now that I think about it. It’s kind of embarrassing._

_Do you remember back in middle school, when I dragged you to the swim club when it was closed and we swam together, just you and I? I think that was one of the most daring moments of my life. Who would have ever thought that I would be the one to break us into a building to go swimming in the middle of the night?_

_That evening, I told you that I loved swimming… and I loved you too._

_Both of those statements have not changed. If anything, they’ve only solidified over the years. I’m not sure what you made of the whole thing, but I hope you took my words to heart, despite us being so young._

_Haruka, I love you. I want to be with you always._

_Somehow those words don’t seem to do my feelings justice. Until I can become better versed, these words will have to do._

_I don’t know if you feel the same way. Sometimes you look at me, and I think it could be possible. And other times, I see your mind wandering… it’s as if you’re in a whole other plane of existence. At these times is when I realize you are destined for far better things in life. Far better than me._

_But a selfish part of me holds on to whatever hope I have. Maybe one day you can be mine. And I, yours. If by some miracle you believe my words, and you feel the same… will you meet me at my house on Saturday, 2 weeks from today at 10:30 a.m.? I’d really like to tell you these words, not just with my hands, but with my own lips. I believe 2 weeks is an acceptable time frame for you to consider my feelings for you, and yours… of me?_

_Maybe you think this is crazy. Maybe this really is too excessive. That’s why I would like to give you an escape._

_If you want to pretend I never wrote these letters to you… that’s okay. I will understand and I will never hold it against you. By 11 a.m. 2 weeks from now, if you don’t arrive… I will assume that is your decision._

_Do you remember my wish from the shooting star?_

_My wish is to always remain your friend. No matter your feelings (or lack of) towards me._

_Your friendship is worth more to me than a broken heart. I would much rather have you in my life, regardless of my unrequited love for you, than to be without you. I hope you will understand_   _._

_Yours truly,_

_Makoto Tachibana_

_******_

Tears pour down Makoto’s face as he rereads the letter. He wipes his eyes with his sleeve and tries hard to get a hold of his emotions. His heart hurts with uncertainty. Tears continue to leak from the corners of his eyes, but he takes a deep breath and composes himself.

His hands quiver with adrenaline as he tries to fold the paper into an acceptable square to fit inside the red envelope. He dates the envelope and addresses it to the object of his affections. He sets its aside and regards the pretty black box filled with handwritten love letters to his best friend. There must be at least one for each week since that fateful night at the swim club 5 years ago.

He closes the box and adorns it with a red ribbon. It’s definitely not a perfect bow, but with how hard he’s shaking, it’s a wonder that he was even able to tie a decent knot. He slips the last red envelope under the ribbon and turns it this way and that, checking for anything he might have forgotten.

He can’t stall any longer. It’s time.

He stands up, box in tow, and heads outside to walk up the stone staircase leading to Haruka’s house. Its 9:20 a.m. this Saturday, and he’s positive that Haruka is in bathroom, having his morning bath. He sets the box down on the doorstep and with a trembling finger, rings the doorbell, knowing full well Haruka will ignore it.

He makes a beeline back to his house, tripping over himself in his haste. His heart is thudding inside his chest, and his hands continue to wobble as he opens the door. He runs upstairs to his bedroom and closes his curtains.

 

He’s in for a rough two weeks.


End file.
